Shakespeare for lunch

Heard someone talk about going for BA literature. Well, the someone is not battling paranoia of a midlife crisis but is a focussed young thing. But the choice of course caught my fancy. When it was my turn to choose a course, well, there was no choice really. (Or I was blind), The choices were - study and learn to chop your fellow beings or study and learn to make cool programs (hello world .. remember? That was the coolest one so far!)...

Of course the cool person that I am, chose the later and well, now I enjoy 'hello world' like hell.

( language.. language tsk tsk!). In fact I would say that was the trend with most focussed young things of my time ( I sound antique.. ).. But come to think of it, literature would have been a great option. Imagine reading Emma / Shakespeare for work ... Or participating in a discussion about the Renaissance with the students. Or research on what makes a hotshot writer tick....

Or would have been cribbing about empty pockets, lack of onsite. Or having to read the 16 century by product of a demented guys ramblings year after year. Or having to bear the short attention span of Gen Y..

Case of grass on the other side being greener.. Now back to Hello world ....

Austerity

.. is something I can do without. But looks like its been named the word of the year. Not surprising since the recession monster was dancing in our midst. It may be the most searched word, but its certainly not the most used one. Actioned up on yes, but used verbally ? No! What do I hear the most? A lot of 'whatever', plenty of 'awesomes' , 'like this' and 'like thats'. Then there is the 'nike', 'ipad', 'cricket', 'world cup', 'sachin tendulkar' , 'cwg', 'kalamadi' and 'Rajnikanth'. All this is casual talk ..

Waht happens once you step inside the office ? 'Scale up', 'rationalization', 'Pareto', 'top/ bottom 20,' , 'deviation' and of course' screwed up' and 'Rajnikanth; (yeah he is every where isn't he?)

Now what are the words that I would like to hear ? Books (Duh!), travel, bonus, free, subsidy, petrol, onions, efficient, beautiful, Salman Khan, holidays, break, Salman Khan, growth, did I mention Salman Khan? :-))

No mention of austerity anywhere eh ? :-)

Man's best friend

Not dogs.. While I love them more than some of the friendly people around, for now, I am talking about books. Mark Twain once said ' Good books, great friends and a sleepy conscience contribute towards a blissful life'. While I have a good stock of the second and third items in that list, I just do not seem to have enough of the former. The result - my home looks like that of a crazy cat woman.

There are books on the floor, under the cupboard, over them, near the bed, on the bed, under the pillow, near the TV (in case there is a power cut!), in my bag ( well .. I need to confess something, I have two of them in my bag and I am reading both the stories at the same time) .. well , you get the drift.

And here I am , sitting and contemplating, how did I get here?

First there was the need for a few to put me to sleep every night ( I am one of those creatures who cannot sleep with out a book in hand) , then came the desire to collect - other books by favorite author, classics, the must haves.

The next stage was the experimentation stage - read the books suggested(aping is also a possibility here) by the other book worms - biographies, psychology. And since every loony bin in the world is coming out with a book, this point covers a lot of ground.

Then there were those intermediary stages where I bought bags full of books while I took others to the book store, or the phase where every gift that I got was a book ( birthday, anniversary, farewell, get well soon, Happy 40th Happy 50th, err..somebody stop me).

And finally, the compulsive stage where I cannot stop myself from buying books.. I go out for a movie, I come back with 2 books, I go out for dinner, I spend 40 mins at the roadside bookwala's vehicle, I go to buy clothes and I end up in Blossoms. Who needs a new cardigan when I can read about Egypt eh?

Sigh.... The situation has reached a stage , that I carry books every time I visit my folks.. its an ideal place to store books. That would stop with immediate effect since mom has threatened to start charging me for using up space there.... So I think I do not need to spend too much time thinking of a resolution this year.

By the way, did I hear someone say the latest Mathew Reilley is out already??

Which I am I

Another friend of mine falls prey to the eunuchs at the Sony World junction. This one is interesting ..

Her Highness Queen C had taken the chariot out one fine morning, to meet the commoners of err.. Koramangala?

OR It was freaking hot and C had managed (finally!!!) to barge into an auto after fighting with 2 dozen auto guys. .. Come Sony World and there is this long pause in the ride... like the pause that the garrulous aunty takes in a saah bahu saaga .. a very meaningful pause .. na? But back to Koramangala, as everyone in Bangalore knows, is the the most happening hangout for the men-women of the third gender. Now, I consider myself to be quite accommodating , but the specimens haunting the sony world junction are evil, in its purest form. Honest!

There was this guy ( a good looking guy *wink*), who also had to take a pause at the same junction and since he was so HOT, he decided to remove his helmet ...and well..the dainty fluff puff sways towards him...saying' Hai mera Shahrukh Khan' and plants( I was in favour of 'plonk'.. but hehe) a kiss on his face!!! Well, its another story that .. none of us have been able to figure out the real reason for him to remove the helmet in the middle of a hot afternoon on a dusty road , just after walking out of a saloon....

Oh yeah , back to C. Now, the story here is on the same lines...nooo.... dirty minds... she didn't get kissed... the guy got into her rick and threatened her.. 100 rupaiye de de nahin to types

Well.. I do not know how much she had to shell out to get the devil out of her chariot... but you know what I mean ... when I say ... stay away from Sony world Junction....and keep those helmets on... :P

I love 'love stories'

There, I said it. I love chick flicks - the kind which is made only to depict a happy ending. A boy meets girl love stories - a lot of laughter, a few tears and then the feeling of everything is alright or will be. The final hug or kiss is a promise to that effect. I have always wondered why women love such movies , why they love to read about them . Now, I know why I do. I used to think its for the obvious reason - an escape from reality for a couple of hours. And now ? I like it for the optimism - the belief that everything would be alright in the end. I do not necessarily agree with the love conquers all, I would do anything for love , I would die with out themes but I agree with the basic feel of it. That there would be a beautiful sunset in the end. Come ot think of it, it is not blind optimism. Have you not noticed how most things, most unwanted things that we entangle ourselves in, have a way of unraveling some goodie after a while ? And at the end of it, what is wrong in looking at the world with rose tinted glasses, once in a while at least? Its not illegal, its affordable and your neighbor does not have to call the cops over it - so why not?

And this realization dawned after watching the worst chick flick of all times - Aisha. It was no chick flick. It is a colorful photo album of Sonam Kapoor that daddy Anil is flaunting to the world. But where is the love, the tears or even the sunset. All we got was lots of fashion and a ladder!

Looking at my collection for a good one to watch. Aah, I think I know the perfect one - All about love.

Blues and Blahs

Haven't had much to write about in a long time. Oh well,been lazy too. I would call it the period between blahs and blues. And now on to my fav thing - Bullet points :-))
1) A, I did try your way of making myself grin and it works. So thanks for that .(still grinning :-) !)
2) Had a whirlwind trip to Kerala and the never ending rains made its presence felt everywhere. Literally - in the form of droplets on top on my neighbor's head during the onward journey, and since I had sighed and thanked god for small mercies, the drops kind of gravitated towards my head on the way back. Justice or cheap thrills? And yeah it rained every second I was there . So my turn to say ...rain rain go away .. for heaven's sake.
3) Met an enlightened person. No sarcasm. Been to a gurukul. The environment was nice but the rest was like something out of Kate and Leopold. I would probably read this one a couple of decades from now and snicker.
4) Suffering from book craving. Lots of it. In fact, had to go to the bookshop on a weekday to pacify the monster. Its another story that I ended up taking the next day off .
5) And go a Matt Bomer screen saver. I have nothing to say to that! :-))

Nite

Need a few happy smileys!

Show me some happy people.

People around (everywhere) have so many reasons to be sad. Some do not have husbands to bitch about, or cranky kids to have sleepless nights over, some have satan incarnate bosses / MILs /FILs /DILs all of the above and if someone claims to have none of the above, there is always some neighbour who is richer than thou and that is enough to lose peace over.

And then once you have successfully become sad, there are various ways to express it - droopy mouth, brooding eyes, sulking ears and then whine about to anyone in sight or brave enough to pick up your calls and whine till the sadness is successfully transmitted to the other side( hey osmosis can happen though the phone too, who says a freaking translucent membrane is needed). Well, yeah there is no dearth of agony aunts ( yours truly is a sad people magnet) .

But hey I need a break. Show me some happy people. The chirpy ones (even if the chipiness can get on your nerves most of the times) Whatever, I need some happy faces....

Any human smileys around??? Any body? sigh! ... :(

Dark thoughts

I had known that this was coming. A woman's instinct, perhaps, or just plain common sense. It could also be due to the fact that I know her well. Not the best of friends but have got used to having her around. She has watched me walk through my personal thorns. She has also been friendly enough to not ask but just be around. I am grateful to that. I will always be.

Now when I watch her walk towards disaster. I can only close my eyes and pray. I have been praying that it wouldn't come to this. I can only watch. I am no coward, but these demons are yours to fight,to vanquish. These do not die after death. They come back to haunt you for a long time. I so wish you didn't have to face them at all. I wish I could ask her to turn back while there is still time.

But I cannot. This is some thing you have to do on your own. My loyalties lay on your side. But I hope you understand I can only lean back and watch you jump into a endless dark hole.

Hmm.. Another dark blog..... Cant help it.

Dost

And no .. this is no story about dostana, only musings on friends, or their effect on me.

Well, after a lot of deliberation, decided to disturb the symmetry of my body, by joining the torture chamber - a gym. In spite of the crankiness before the session, (associated with being out of bed at an ungodly hour on a weekend) and whimpering muscles after crawling out of the place (literally!), I had a great time. The chats in between the muscle wringing, the teasing, the yapping , the breakfast and the long walk after the session made my day. All this thanks to a friends couple. ( yeah you read it right - couple of my friends who are married to each other :-)) ) It felt strangely alive and peaceful at the same time. Although we did nothing out of the ordinary!

Contrast that to to another outing in the evening, this time with a totally different friends set. A masala movie which is usually prescribed for the depressed, followed by shopping. Now what could have been better than that . But no, I returned with a sense of hmm.. emptiness. Not any body's fault . Just my reaction to em.

Moral of the story, ... still searching

This is not turning out to be a fun blog. Blame if on the Argentina slaughter that is happening as we speak... The song that I am listening to at the moment does not help either .

Bin tere Bin tere , koi khalish hai...hawaon main bin tere..

Hit a high high and a steep low in a single day. Was just the last post that I was talking about life hitting a plateau??

Kick the ball

Letting the imp out with that title! *grins*

Have been away from blogdom for a while now. the graph has plateaued down these days. Call it the 'daal chaval' days. Watching life in 2D - The soccer world cup, Wimbledon and then there is cricket where India seems to have added yet another insignificant cup (?!) to their collection. And since TV has taken over all my spare time, I have nothing to say...

On second thoughts , there are a few things in no particular order...

1) It was a week when I had to visit 3 different banks on the same day .And no, I have not changed my profession. It did make me wish for a trip to another planet though.

2) Visited Firangi Pani. Hmmm......Hmmmmm....Hmmmmmmmm...

3) Have started writing a diary the good old way again. And enjoying it . Especially drawing those smileys on the edges.

4) Just realised I have a thing for vampire human love stories - Is that even normal???

5) Was talking to a friend with problems and people around me asked if I was alright ..WTH???

6) Saving the most unladylike comment for the last - The strange fascination of the Williams sisters for public display of outlandish UGs . Somebody stop em , for heaven's sake.

And I almost typed 'Regards, N'.

Nite

Up Up and Awayyyyy!

I am scaring myself these days. A friend of mine now thinks I am his own personal good luck charm! Let me explain. The friend was having trouble with his workstation and the good Samaritan ( yours truly, in case you are wondering) offered help. And honest to god, I did nothing different from what he was trying to do , but hey presto! the monitor blinked back to life , slow as a Monday morning, but alive! That's when I happened to mention that I have the golden touch! Well, yes yes, I am a paragon of modesty. This was a few days ago. The next episode ran today. The guy is shifting base to Bangalore and just when his furniture was to arrive in the city , the packer decided it was a good time to fleece him and suddenly all his trucks were unavailable.. so on and so forth. Needless to say, the friend was fuming. and Of course superwoman came hopping to rescue and said 'Do you want me to step in and spread my magic?' an hour later, the guy comes running saying 'How did you do it?' .

I did try waving my arms all over my head, no sign of the billion dollars that I wished for . :(. Not yet.

And yes, the guy went home , a big grin on his face. Although , now he wants to bring a list of his problems for superwoman to solve. Does anyone know where Krypton is???

Don Juan of Montreal

This is an old one..Never posted it. Its kinda funny. so here goes...

====

I am not sure I should be writing about him. After all I am still in touch with him. And I am sure I am going to read this to him. The 'him' I refer to here is a dear friend of mine . A friend, period. Incase anyone i wondering, if I am getting defensive, the answer is - No. Controversies are messy beings...

Now that we have that out of the way , lets get down to the crux of the tale. I have known him for a very long time, close to a decade perhaps. Younger than me by a few years. He used to live in the same time zone as me till a few years ago before he moved to Montreal, still on the right side of 25 and mirror cracking material. Of course the title of the blog would demand that from him. However, that is not the only reason for the tag, there was always something else...

Since the time I have known him, he has always got more than his share of female attention more than his share by a few miles. It is true, leaving loads of disgruntled uncles and bfs in his wake. I am sure their collective sigh of relief when he left India was the sole reason for good rains in the heart of our country that year.

But then as I have always said there was something else about him. He was not just a common eye candy. That would be insulting him. He had a knack of talking to wounded damsels and making them pour their hearts out.He had a gift of making them talk, just talk.Oh Boy! but those talks sometimes did bring out some stinky skeletons... :)

However, In the years that I have known him, I have never seen him getting shocked. No matter what comes out during these associations that he has. I am anyone else in his shoes would have had their jaws kissing the ground after hearing some of those confessions. Perhaps that was his biggest weapon or his biggest charm?

Accommodating to a fault. If I had to name one person totally devoid of expectaions it would be him..I am yet to understand how someone could be that accommodating. Heights of enlightenment or emotions running thin? Perhaps its an act. Who can say?

Then there was this genuine need to please everyone, a desire to bring a smile on the faces which has seen tissues and handkerchiefs far too many times, the willingness to spend time with the women who wanted some one to just listen. May be it always started like that but that was not how it ended every time, i am sure.

Almost every time the lady in question found that the don juan has charmed his way into her heart. Intentionally ? I am not sure. May be, it gives him a high to be able to do it consistently... May be not. May be its just misguided affection.

Everytime I hear from him, there is a new pet project which soon has him as a pet....:) Everytime I hear from him, I hear him donning the role of an agony aunt and the next time ofcourse I would have him wonder aloud as to why she has a fixation on him instead. I somehow feel its the story of the patient getting hooked to the shrink. Of course , I cant tell him that. My neck would then be in danger of being wringed. But the point here is he does spread a lot of joy around.

Hmm, I know a lot of em would look back and smile when they think about him an adorable lil puppy is what he is... but then careful dear friend. Didn't somebody tell me the other day that Cassanova was lynched to death.

So long Don Huan of Montreal...

It's a .. GOAL!!

Goals - chronologically

At 5 - to GROW UP!

at 10 - Marry Salman Khan

at 12 - Become a teacher ( I get to wear a sari )

at 13 - become an astronaut (those body suits look sexy)

at 14 - become a vet - (Villy aunty needs to be put down - humanely)

at 15 - Get 90% in the board exams ( folks need to have something to talk about at the annual family reunions)

At 16 - Get 90% & Become an engineer ! ( bang on imaginary keyboards)

at 18 - Finish education

at 19, 20 , 21, 22 - Finish education(Sigh!)

at 22 yrs 6 months - get a job

at 22yrs 7 mnths - Get a JOB!!!

at 22 yrs 8 months - GET A "!£"!$£ JOB!!!

at 23 - play .. how soon can you blow up your sal!

AT 24 - go onsite (foren pics look good on Orkut!)

at 25 - play ..how soon can you blow up your sal! .. this time at onsite...

at 27 - dream of buying a house...( couz has bought one in the US)

at 28 - get another ' challenging' job (another appraisal is round the corner)

at 29 - continue dreaming of the house

30 - eternity - Find a goal...

Singing 'Dil to bachcha hain ji'

Fire and Forget

A friend of mine once said that there is no such thing as fire and forget. There is a reaction to every act that we perform. Good, bad, evil, divine - there is always a reaction. And the action reaction may not necessarily follow a rule. Good may not necessarily spawn good , or bad reaction to a bad action. The only rule that it does follow is that there is a reaction. The comment was not made in the heat of a philosophical discussion. It was made when he was bidding goodbye to his girlfriend the last time he met her before she got married. Yes it was sad and all that but that was one heck of a line.

Now, the reason I brought it up - life these days seems to be a series of full circles. I am not sure that line makes much sense . But a lot of things that were set in motion a decade ago seems to be coming back to me now, limping towards a conclusion. It wouldn't have mattered either ways . But there it is - on your face, demanding a 'period'. I do not want to sound like Ayn Rand or Virginia Woolfe . I would explain. Expressions of gratitude from people I have supposedly helped long ago, demands for explanation for ignoring people I have not seen in ages, almost like stumbling into places just so that stories left hanging so far reach their logical end.

And in a way, the time between the action and reaction is good, a matured view on things is helping me sort it out in a way that would not have been possible a decade ago.. Hmm, that philosophy also has an impact on any future action. Always driven by the thoughts of possible reactions. Gone are the carefree , devil may care way of doing things .. :)

New perspective for this decade of ma life!

Listening to 'Robert D Niro's waiting.. talking Italian'

Cruel Summer

Some random thoughts...

A new old friend on FB says that he remembers my name and my face but nothing else.Well, not sure if my ego should feel bruised or bloated. The face and the name is everything for an average person, right? Since I haven't done anything remotely Mother Theresa like , nothing else is really worth remembering! Then why am I miffed, a wee bit?

Reconnected with many people on FB. With my life split into 5 year slices, the friends also fall into different groups. The Pune colony and school group, the Kolkatta primary school group, the secondary school group, the UG group in Madras, the PG group in Madras, the first company group , again split into people from different projects and then there is the second company and so on so forth. Not complaining. Just happy to meet all those people again. And surprised too . I have a new found love for humanity these days!

And grooving to the strains of 'its a cruel, cruel summer'. Yes, am into retro too now. Bananarama time. Just the music though. Thanks but no thanks to the buffy hairstyle and high waist jeans, It would only confirm that I am running towards the past than trying to crawl towards the future!

Oh, something that I forgot to mention in my previous post. The American mentioned that she found my English to be best among all the Indians that she had met. She had already spent a few months in India. Am still floating. I know I am not going to write a 'God of small things' but hey its a compliment, which I accept with no hint of modesty what so ever!!!!! (ET, don't burst my bubble yet! you can correct my grammar in a while :)))

Someone was talking about women having to work doubly hard (when compared to the men) to succeed at work, any kind of work at that. While I agree with the comment up to a certain extend, I have to admit that I have observed that it has always been a man who has sorted out problems of that sort. Never a woman. Wonder if feminism has gone too far in our times and we have started using men as an excuse for any or all of our problems. I mean no offense to the victims of genuine discrimination. Just wondering if there is more to the problem than, well men! An example would be this recent show on TV where a few city breed women celebrities are sent to a village to live with the villagers (not sure if the villagers are genuine. I didn't last long enough through the program to find out). The show thrives on showing the silly problems these women face like waking up early in the morning and making tea and more such crap. I fail to understand why any strong independent woman would want to project herself as a helpless babe in the woods( literally in this case). C'mon, one of them has even survived jail. But no, off they go creating this aura of helplessness and then you go and blame men for not giving you your share. Shame! Shame!

And its past midnight... singing ..

He was really saying something

Hey yeah yeah

I was walking down the street

Do-wah do-wah)

When this boy started following me

Oh yeah

Now I ignored all the things he said

Do-wah do-wah)

He moved me in every way

With his collar unbuttononed

On my side he was struttin'

He was really saying something

Saying something)

Really saying something

Saying something

Bop bop shoo be do-wah

Bop bop shoo be do-wah

Sigh.. Nite....

(P.S : Found the the Bananarama cover on the web during a search. Drop a line if it involves any violation and it shall be removed)

Yeh Bhi Hain India

Back from a trip back home and its been a happening weekend!

As usual amma had news about everyone I knew and this time news was zara hatke... Turns out

that my lady driving tutor ( out of the several tutors that I have had... That would form a different blog all together and now back to my lady tutor) she has eloped to Mumbai. Now you would ask whats great about that... The twist in this tale is that she has eloped with another girl.. and a small town in Kerala is abuzz with the news.. Now I kinda knew her inclination towards girls... Not what you think.. Just that she had too many questions about UK's gay culture. Now, surprises do not stop there . After telling me the news , amma wanted to talk about homosexuality. Well, dad staged a walk out, immediately. And I followed him, promptly . I am all for gay rights, but talking about homosexuality or sexuality in general with parents is not a very gay thought...Yeah go right ahead and call me a prude!

And while I am still on the Kerala trip, on the way back, an American sat beside me in the bus. A girl from California who is in India to learn about ayurveda! And her specialization - natural childbirth, at home. I was surprised, I mentioned that in India , atleast among the educated lot, the trend of giving birth at home has gone. Personally its unthinkable, unless I am marooned on some island. Her reply was that, while you guys chase 'technology' we are going back to the olden ways. You are teaching kids to eat cornflakes , while we are learning to eat idli! Yes , idli! The crazy one has a totally unplanned trip, visiting one guru after another as and when she hears about them and all this alone! When I said Americans are adventurous, her reply was ... 'or Stupid!' .. :) I have to say she is my inspiration to plan a trip to the north.. Lets see about that one...

And a pic from my trip..This one is Athirapilly...

Yap yap yap...:)

I have not stepped out of the boundaries of propriety in any of my posts so far. But this one , tests it just a wee bit ... :) . But its something that has been swirling in my mind for a while. I tried sleeping on it for a few days ( no pun intended). But the story just wouldn't go away. So here goes.

Sajan looked down at the girl in his arms and smiled. She continued chattering about her day while his mind chattered about the days gone by . This bubbly girl had always taken the first step. She had walked up to him one day and said 'Hi' followed by a 'Coffee?' and just like that , they had become friends, despite the age difference or because of it. She was still in college when they had first met and he was already a manager at a MNC. He had no doubts that she would follow his footsteps into the IT industry.

He loved listening to her. About her day at college, her worries before the exams, the hunks at college , the latest movies, feminism even Mao was not spared. She had dragged him to college on the day of the results. He had been hugged fiercely , the day she cam running out after her first job interview. The first job and she was floating on a tiny cloud. She had so many questions that day - would they like me , am I too emotional, how do I succeed, would I make friends and many more. He had answered all of them , patiently and then she had hugged him again. And he had let emotions be his guide that day.

And he was lost. Her eyes, her hair, her endearing lisp. He was lost over and over again.

That was a few months ago. Something about a guy's name brought him back to Ammu's present. She was talking about a guy .. 'Oh I love him...he does not know yet... Oh Sajjan, you have to tell me .. How do I tell him ?..' He looked down at Ammu, the beautiful Ammu in his arms. She looked at him and tugged his cheek .. Tell me , how do I tell him ?.

A tear rolled down his cheek, unnoticed ... while she continued chattering...

P.S... :)... ok Am out of the mush mode now...

221b Baker Street

And yet another friend request on Orkut. Another ghost from the past. However this one was a pleasant surprise. 15 years, a receding hairline and a prominent paunch later, it was still dear old Yudi. It was the first time somebody from the City of Joy had got in touch with me. I took my cup of coffee and stepped out my room onto the terrace and a few decades back in time.

I think it was in class 8 that I saw Yudi for the first time. Yudi, the class entertainer and the sidekick of the most handsome guy around. My first crush, well technically the second. I was one of those confused teens who had a thing for a 40 yr old man. A man who lived in Baker street. Sigh, not something I can explain. I guess the charm of intellect was irresistible. I had recovered soon enough to fall for looks though! And Dilwale style, the guy was called Raj. And this Raj could sing too. I still remember his version of ‘Is pyar se meri taraf na dekho…. pyar ho jaayega’. Although I do not remember pursuing the crush, I think I did moon over him for a year.

For a year, until the entry of Aradhana in Class 9. Ethereal was the word to describe Aradhana. At least that is how all the boys described her. For me it was ‘best friends for life’ time. A shy, introvert, mini geek and the pretty, restless and often loud Aradhana. She was the first person who introduced me to the world of trinkets, shopping, achar outside the school and bread cutlets in Gariahat. Perhaps, I was a project for her. But I did change. And unlike most friendships where there is some competition, this one was fun. Each had their own worlds, even satisfied in them, he only time they ventured into the other’s side of life was when they were together. I must admit I was a stubborn child, most only kids are. But there were never any disagreements with Aradhana. I am not sure if the friendship was perfect or if time has erased the imperfections of the reality of a long time ago. But whatever the case, there were no grudges, there still aren't. Even the fact that my crush fell for her and ignored me for the rest of my time in school didn't mar the friendship. Who can blame her? The whole school and half the world seemed to be in love with her.

What about her? She fell for the dancer – Jay. Jay was one of the most popular guys in the school's history. He had already passed out by the time we were in class 9 but often performed in school annual functions on public demand. My memory of incidents after that are vague, the mini geek in me had taken over my soul for the next few years. Friendships of the time are blurred images now. But the affair and the gossip about it floated around for a few years after that and then time and distance relegated her memory to a frame in my past.

My coffee had gone cold while I watched the traffic go by. Even though I had stepped back to the present, I was still gripping a fragment of the past – Yudi’s friend request. Hmm.. I think I would accept this one. I would love to know the rest of the story…

A Love story...

Was walking down Brigades on the way back from Blossom's with P, and there was this old sweet couple walking in front of us. Old - 70ish and sweet - they were holding hands. Yes it was an 'awwww' moment. And I think P said something on the lines of 'this is what I want, to walk down Brigades when I am old with my hubby, free, happy and in love'. Completely agree with you P. And this story has been lingering in my mind ever since. Not really a story. Some bit of it is real... :)

Arundhati waited for him with a glass of milk when he was back from his long walk. He smiled his thanks and walked towards the study, newspaper in hand and switching on the laptop whiled he gulped the milk. He had not forgotten the date . It was the 20th of April. He knew he would have mail today, announcing the venue of the meeting. And sure enough, the promised info was waiting in his inbox. He read the mail quickly. It contained nothing else, just the name of the restaurant where the meeting was arranged and nothing else. He closed his laptop, lost in thoughts. There was still time before he needed to leave home again. He had already packed everything that he would need.

He wandered into the kitchen chatting with Arundhati, cutting onions, adding dhaniya patta into the sabji until Arundhati chased him out of the kitchen, telling him it was time to get 'hygienic'. He laughed and said , he was not going to challenge her monopoly after all these years.

He left home after breakfast. He had not been to Cicero's in years. It looked different now. But the crowd was still a good mix of youngsters and the old. The deep red sofas looked familiar and it definitely felt familiar. He smiled. He ordered coffee and looked around while he waited.

He didn't want to think about the meeting. He read the snippets about coffee on the wall in front - 'It is legal for a wife to divorce a husband if he did not provide her with a daily cup of coffee' . He had to smile at that one. He has always been a 'tea' man. So he could afford to sympathize with the coffee husbands.

And then he watched the lady in white walk towards his table. Age had not diminished the power of her smile . It was still impish. She sank into the sofa opposite to him and continued smiling. He said ' So how have you been'. ' Beautiful, as ever' . And she laughed. That was always the answer. He had to smile . That answer set the tone for the evening. They talked about old times. Happy, sad ones. They talked and just talked. It was almost nine and it was almost time to leave when he asked ' Have you found happiness?' . The reply was 'Yes, and peace'. He had to ask. He looked at her one more time and then it was time to leave. She got up and they walked out of the cafe together. She touched his arm and asked ' So until the next decade?' . He smiled and waved as he walked away.

He walked back home and Arundhathi was waiting for dinner this time. As he ate , he watched his wife of 30 years. Arundhati looked up at him, with a raised brow. He smiled and said ' you look beautiful tonite!'.

P.S. I didn't to end it on a sappy note., But hey I had given a fair warning. It is supposed to be a love story ..:)

The flag..

Ahana toiled valiantly , she had already skinned both her knees from the fall a few mins ago. But she could not stop even if she wanted to. The crest of the hill looked down at her, mockingly. Ahana, wiped an impatient hand over her face, pulling her hair, now slick with perspiration, out of her eyes gulped some more water and started again. So intent was she on reaching the top that she scarcely looked back at Maddy who like her, wouldn't have been able to stay away if Ahana had insisted. Maddy for his part let her climb alone.

She looked around to see if the temple was visible at the other end of the hill. The saffron flag flew over the tiny temple. She had almost reached the tip of the hill. The stone factory seems to have closed down. All the sounds associated with it- the siren, the dynamite exploding, and the hustle and bustle of the workers were absent. She waited for a few minutes, remembering the giant craters which used to get filled with water during the rainy season. She smiled faintly. Preeti had shown her 'back strokes' in one of those craters.

Maddy waited and watched Ahana forcing herself away from the sight of the crater towards right. There was no path anymore. Shrubs and creepers had swallowed the old ones. But Ahana picked her way through it. She didn't seem to stop even when the sleeve of her top tore from forcing herself through the plants.

He wanted to cut a path for her, but he knew, Ahana was only just about aware of his presence. He had to let her continue. Ahana continued to stumble forward until she came to a standstill

near a tree. He didn't know if it was the place. It didn't look much different the everything that they had crossed so far. But he knew, Ahana couldn't be wrong.

She continued staring at the ground where thick shrubs grew blocking the view from the other side. Maddy moved away, giving her time , but he knew without looking that , her breathing was getting heavy and tears were flowing. He wanted to be near Ahana . But it was not time yet. She had to let it out . He turned around and waited. Ahana was silent. But Maddy was restless. It was heartbreaking to know that she was hurting. Ahana turned to see if the flag was still visible. Maddy saw that the shrubs hid everything. He didn't wait any longer. He moved silently and laid a hand over her shoulder and Ahana flinched, the way she did every time a man touched, no matter how innocently, the way she always had ever since he knew her. But he let his hand stay, he didn't move away, waiting , watching Ahana trying to forget. From where Maddy was standing, he got a glimpse of saffron.

Perhaps there was hope yet.

A girl....

She has always loved water, and this place was special. Nikitasha was back at the beach after a very long time. She looked at the huge splash of blue - content and relaxed. She looked across towards the edge of water where her husband was holding their child's hand while the child jumped into every incoming wave. She smiled. It certainly looked like the love for water has been passed on to the next generation. She wanted to join in but right now she was content to watch them.

Her thoughts flew back to the last time she was here . It was a few months after she had got her job after college. She had to smile again . They were out for the last time as a bunch of singles, love had found two people from her group and the wedding bells were ringing fast and loud. They had all spent the whole evening playing on the beach , water, sand, Frisbee , catch ball, chit chatting and of course embarrassing the new couple. They had even forced one of the beach astrologers to forecast the future of the blushing bride to be. It was 10 rupees worth of comedy. Then the astrologer had turned towards Nikitasha and in the spirit of the game she had asked the lady to tell her about what was in store for her. The usual - a great husband , a big house and a baby girl. And in the spirit of the the industry that they were all in, the prediction was copied and pasted for the entire group. Looked like the whole bunch was going to have identical futures. She remembered the cheers and hoots that had erupted after the last one had got his results from the happy astrologer who had by now collected enough for an evening in the snazzy restaurant at the beach!

She laughed, remembering that evening 5 years ago.

She looked around to watch the tourists haggling with the kids selling trinkets. The sun was setting and it was almost time to go. She was about to get up to move towards the sea when a hand touched her elbow. She turned to see an old lady. She knew it was another beach astrologers. She smiled and was about to move away when the lady said 'Five minutes, beti'. She looked back at her husband and decided, another five minutes wouldn't matter. And it would help her relive that evening 5 years ago. Would it be another 'copy, paste' of the last prediction. She almost giggled at the thought. The astrologer uncurled the fingers of her left hand, forehead furrowed in concentration. Nikki watched her, a smile on her face silently predicting what the astrologer would say. And then it was the moment of truth - ' You are happy, a successful job and married'. Nikki nodded, gently allowing the lady to continue. 'And you have a child - a girl'. This time the bubbling laughter erupted - a loud happy laughter. The old lady frowned at Nikki. Nikki stopped for a moment and pointed towards Ashwin who was walking back towards her , their son in his arms.

Nikki looked back at the astro scholar and continued laughing..... :)

The End.

Alternate Ending

=============

The astrologer struggled on to her feet . She watched the father and son and then at Nikki who was still looking at her and laughing. This time she looked down from Nikki's face, lower , back up and smiled . Ashwin reached Nikki and held out a hand for her to get up, puzzled at the reason for her laughter. Nikki got to her feet and watched the departing figure and ran a hand over her flat stomach. It was her turn to wonder....

P.S. : Was not able to choose between the flippant one and the other one. Hence posted both of them.

The Midnight Visitor.

The thundering knocks woke him, he could see the door vibrating from the shock. He waited, hoping it is a dream. They cannot be back. Not so soon. His mind wandered around his broken home. Battered beyond recognition. He did not have to look. He knew. His home.

The knocks had not stopped. But they had become feeble. Or was reluctance playing games with his mind? He waited. They would not stop. He got up from his bed and staggered to the door. With a final sigh , he unlocked he door.

He waited for the ear splitting aggression, the noise, the colors , the pain. Nothing. Only silence. Yet, it was not nothing. He gave way for his visitor to enter, although it was not whom he expected. His earlier inertia gave way to an urgency to shut the door and the world outside.

When he turned around, his visitor was still standing staring at the destruction. He was the only thing in one piece. Barely.

He nodded towards his bed and the midnight visitor sat down. They looked at each other. There was nothing to say . They could hear the sounds outside. The sounds that they knew so well . Yet it was far away. There was time.

The leaned on the wall beside the bed each lost in thoughts of what was and what could have been . They would look at each other as if they were conversing, or their thoughts were. The sounds outside were getting closer as their thoughts grew closer to the present.

And then the door shattered. And then the familiar noise and silence.

The destruction was complete.

P.S. Trying a hand at writing a small piece after a very long time. And it was mush that I wanted to write. Look where it got me though!

Breathless

One of the topics of discussion at the long lunch with P was when was the last time someone took your breath away? I mean literally - heart thudding against the ribs, the glazed look , perspiration on the forehead, stammering and a general woozy feeling - that is what I call taking your breath away. So when was the last time ?

I think I can answer that question honestly but what is funny is that I do not remember the face now. The answer ? Last week, near the lift at work, had a cup of tea in one hand (and my eyes which were threatening to fall out in the other!) and for a moment , I forgot where I was . Time stopped. It was almost like I was wearing blinkers, I couldn't see anything else, hear anything else. And I am not head over heels in anything. Like I said , I do not even remember the face now , just the feeling! So does anyone else remember and is brave enough to admit ? *wink*

And no, ET, I have not got my brains scrambled from all that mush that I have gobbling up. I know what is coming.

It's not me!

In a bit of a fix. A ghost from the past has sent me a friend request and like a coward I have been steadfastly ignoring it for the past 2 days. The 'it' here is the request. As if ignoring it would make it magically disappear and I would not have to do anything about it . But no such luck. Checked in the morning and it's still there .Sigh!

Now, I do not want to accept the request and let the ghost know about the current me and well, declining is - rude! And mommy says being rude is not ladylike!

Why oh god .. Why ? and yeah the awesome request comes with an equally delightful message 'finally managed to track you down' .. Yayy .. Hurray .. Jump up and down and sideways too.

Anyways , the ostrich mode continues ..for now.. Yeah yeah go ahead and snicker. Check what's waiting for you today!

Stroll

Observations during my stroll yesterday:

* There was something wrong with the road. It sure looked like the skin of a newborn indicating a recent makeover, but the horns were insistent. More so than ever, I was walking at the edge of the road , but still, the horns had an angry ring to it. What am I doing wrong. After about 5 mins of ignoring it, I realized, that there was a shiny piece at the edge of the road which I have never seen before. But like me , everyone seemed oblivious to it. Not just me , even the dogs were walking alongside me on the road. Forgotten its name now, been a while since I seen or used one. Hmm.. what is it called? Aah yes, I think its a .. Footpath?

* A new vadapav cart near Laddoos. I was on my compensatory stroll, to make up for the one that I had missed in the morning. But then vadapav is not as plentiful in Bangalore as panipuri for example. And it was not a poor cousin of the real ones. All further walks would henceforth be planned along the same route. Losing weight needs tasty incentives.

* I am miffed. Got into a shop to make inquiries and the shopkeeper wouldn't look into my eyes while responding. Guess he could see a piece of heaven in the book he was pretending to read. Buddy , you need to attend a session on listening skills. And what is with the attitude? I am not a tax collector.

* Lots of Nariya l Paani guys and huge crowds around them.

Heat, people, crowds , horns, the noise, the elements of a very crowded city . But hey , I feel alive in the midst of all this. Alive .:)

Alive ...

S asked me the reason for the lull in blogging , and I honestly do not have a reason. Guess I was

in a non chatty , non bloggy mood. But since I have typed so far , I guess I am out of that mode .

Its been a week of mush indulgence .. mushy movies .. ahem.. :)

The age old antidote to bored spirits is a girl meet boy story Well, yes, its not as simple as that , there is always a scheming ex, a protective parent, a psychotic admirer , sometimes it could be all of them. But the end is always the girl and boy walking away to the sunset (I prefer them galloping away on a black horse) .

Sigh , but I think I have had too much of it this last week It's like that feeling after having too many sweets.

But hey there is IPL now!

Yaaaaaaaa ba daba doooooooooo

In a great mood... Lots of reasons to jump up and down and say 'yayyy' :-))

Onnu -> Fakie is back .. Fakie ? Fake IPL plyer.. and So is IPL season 3. Love the excitement, love the cricket, love the glittery package as well! and I love Fakie's blogs! So yayy for IPL and FIP

Rundu - > Today, not one but two people said that I have lost weight. One of them even asked me how I did it. ( of course I had to come up with a tale of long walks, strict diet , some yoga thrown in as well, the truth being , I have no clue how that happened! and trust me , its better not to say, you didnt do anything in particular about it , people would accuse you of being secretive!) . For someone who has been a close rival to Mr Santa (and perhaps still is !), this is great , stupendous , wonderful news. Yayyy!

Moonu -> And its Friday!! double yay!!!!

Nalu - > And well, nothing I am just happy!

Well, celebrating all of the above with ice creams ! ( a couple of grapes too , to assuage my guilt. Now its no longer a high cal monster, just a harmless fruit salad ;) )

Granted!

Hmm, This one is thanks to ET.

He says, if someone takes you for granted more than once, its your mistake.

I agree . Completely.

But, do we not always make excuses for people?

But I agree , loyalty does not equate to tolerating disrespect... :)

And on a happier note, I had been to a baby shower of a dear dear friend. It was a traditional Kannadiga celebration where my friend's head was buried under a lot of flowers and she was dressed in a beautiful green sari... But she looked radiant and .. err.. very pregnant.

The food was awesome - typical South Indian fare with lots and believe me when I say - Lots , of sweets. Its supposed to be a prestige issue , more the number of sweets you serve, more talked about the function is going to be. Well, there is a dakshina too at the end of the feast ..

While leaving, I happened to mention it to my friend's husband that she looked beautiful and he says - ' Of course, she is my gorgeous sweetheart'...

Awww!!!!!

P.S : Thats a pic of an Onam feast ... Couldnt find any pic of a Kannadiga feast :-)) . Would take some next time!

This child dreads fire!

Still struggling.

I am worried. Really really worried. I haven't been so worried for someone else in a while. The story sessions as mentioned in my previous post continues and she seems to have made up her mind. There is nothing more I can do .

I can only sit back and watch the drama unfold. This reminds me of a Diwali a long long time ago.

There was this big group of kids in the society who used to light firecrackers together. And well, all of us used to get a kick out of lighting it in our hands and throwing it away seconds before the explosion. The kid in the group would ape the 'elders' and well she was flirting with danger. Her father was watching the game and he did come down to chat with his princess - nicely and politely, not the 'do it again and all your crackers get thrown out of the window'. But well as expected, the kid continued the game till she burnt her fingers . And daddy was there to hug her and surprisingly, to encourage her to light up a few more crackers, from a distance of a few feet though!

And btw my friend was part of the group. I hope she remembers this one and no, I am not going to play the Agony aunt this time.

Time I got another title!

Judge me not

Hm... I consider myself to be very open minded. It takes a lot to shock me. For me , what people do is not really my business. Live and let live and thank god I live in a free country ( or so the constitution says).

But the last few days , I have been struggling. This has to do with the fact that the characters involved are close and old friends. Not really the 'others' category. So while my friend pushes the boundaries of morality and common sense and at the same time pushes me into a very uncomfortable position by regaling her tales and perhaps seeking understanding or wanting me to wave the green flag vigorously, I struggle to keep my lips zipped.

It is not my business I tell myself, the right hand patting my heart saying 'All izz well'. I struggle.May be I should tell her what I really think or I should just avoid the talk all together or I can think of pink umbrellas and flying pigs whenever the topic raises its foul head.

Now that is a plan ..

Ugh!

Rush

I am still in in the 3rd phase mode and I am still seeing things in slow motion. The title , well, is a case of 'JLT '.

But, I did have an adrenaline rush last week. You know the kind that you get when you get your first cycle, or your first watch or hmm... I think you get the drift. And the reason this time was travel. Whatever the reason for the travel, I feel the rush every time I have to hop to a new place. the thought of seeing new roads, new faces, new buildings, change in weather , the whole package.

And it need not be a vacation, just the usual trips back home holds the same magic too. I guess anything would do as long as the vehicle's posterior is facing Bangalore!

And this time it was to the financial capital of India. Loved the wave of heat that struck my face the moment I got out of the airport , the antique piece of black and yellow metal, (in case you have not figured it out the mumbai ka patented cabs ), the roads so full of energy at any time of the day or night for that matter ( have taken walks on the roads there both at midnight and at 6 in the morning!), the mumbaiya slang, the food( I have already talked about Kulfi, the sabudana vada, the chats, ) , the shopping ( hill road, linking road are the only places I have been to , but liked what I have seen so fat , and 'like' is a mild mild term) and then the drive to Pune... the ghats the new highway.. sigh! Didnt get time to see more . Like I said . Loved what I saw.

Next is Chennai I guess .. Esp, since I have heard of a new restaurant where food would be free for ever for me!

Nite

Slow

The day was slow. And no you would not hear me whining about it. I watched the day go by. In slow motion though . Unlike those songs where the protagonist is standing still where as the world around him whirls past him a 100 miles per hour..One of those days where the mind was not circling around people, work, money, tax, the boss, friends , - just pleasantly empty. Its almost like I am seeing it all for the first time. There is no anxiety though, curiosity perhaps. Wonder if this is what a baby feels - while sitting on a mat on the floor, watching the others walking around with a purpose, or without ?

Its not intentional. I am going through a '3rd person' phase. I am not really involved with anything that seems to be happening around me, just an outsider taking notes.

Weird... hmm

.

An empty title , staring at the blank notepad hoping for words to magically appear , waiting for my mind to translate some of the restless background chatter into something I can write about...Something different , something ordinary, something happy, something nice .. Hmm.. something like a Kulfi!

Kulfi is one of my inanimate 'Ranchos' - the happy thought trigger. A fairly new one at that . The cold sweet that refuses to melt fast enough for me to gobble it up fast. ?(and addictive as Farmville)...

Another one would be a library, one where the computers are away from sight. Just books and comfie coaches inviting people to lounge on them for hours together, piles of books . Not a very crowded one . Wooden floors with sunlight pouring through the huge windows - warm and cozy. Oh its not a figment of my imagination . I have known a library like that . Perfect, isn't it?

Hmm.. Not bad . Looks like happy thoughts are flowing again but sigh, time to hit the sack, there is a bus to catch at an ungodly hour!

Nite.

Spin a yarn... a km long...

Was telling Pixie the story of the story teller at work yesterday . And yes, when someone starts spinning the bundle at work, it usually means , you are in for a useless conversation.A long winding conversation which is designed to confuse rather than communicate.

I have never been able to understand the need for twisting sentences. Its so much easier to just say things the way they are . Something is either right or wrong. It is not right because of A , B or C . Simple!. Why would someone want to bring the rest of the alphabet into it ? I can understand it if the speaker is not articulate enough. But that is not the case in this instance. Its deceit.

Deceit .

And its intended to waste some one's time .. Now , That is a crime.

And a crime always invites a punishment, In this case , it was a snub.

Sunday serenade

Mohit's song from Love Aaj Kal

Yeh dooriyan...

In rahon ki dooriyan

Nigahon ki dooriayam

would be my choice for a serenade on a Sunday evening - the fading light, sinking into the still waters, and watching..

Hun rahon ki dooriyan

Fanah ho sabhi dooriyan

The questions, and hesitation on both sides. It would be interesting to see who steps forward first.

Kyun koi paas hain

Door hai kyun

Jaane na kio yahan pe

Does it matter ? Not really. Just as long as we are looking at each other and the eyes are talking. The way it has been - all this while.

Aa Raha paas ya

Door mein ja raha

Janu na mein hoon kahan pe

Yeh dooriyan

A slight flush, a guilty glance towards the sun. After all we were here to watch the beautiful treat

In raahon ki dooriyan

Nigahon ki dooriyan

Hum rahon ki dooriyan

Fanah ho sabhi dooriyan

And then the smile, a shake of the head, as if reminding oneself of the foolishness of all this . Its silly, silly .....silly.

Yeh dooriyan

Yeh dooriyan

Watching the sun, waiting for it to pass. For the heart to stop fluttering.

Kabhi hua yeh bhi

Khali Rahon pe bhi

Tu tha mere saath

But glancing back and smiling again. Almost apologetic . Its irresistible. The smile again.

Kabhi tujhe milke lauta

mera dil yeh khali khali haath

Yeh bhi hua kabhi

Jaise hua Aabhi

Tujhko sabhi mein paa lia

And now laughing , walking up to you. Pointing to .. anything and laughing . Hoping you wouldnt notice .. Or hoping you would.

Tera mujhe kar jaati hai dooriyan

Satati hain dooriyan

Tarsati hain dooriyan

Fanah ho sabhi dooriyan

And walking away feeling on top of the world , euphoria, bliss, peacful - content..

P.S : Listening to the song for the 25th time while writing this. Had fun. Feel like I had danced with the song.. :)